World Wind March!

Wow! I can't believe it's already Saturday, Mike took his first vacation in 3 years! yay! We celebrated the anniversary of the Studio last Friday night, March 10th, with a surprise party, It was great! This past Sunday was our last at our church, people cried but they also prayed for us and said they understood but would miss us, we were so relieved to be done. That was the beginning of our vacation, ahhh!. Monday, Mike had to go to church to get his gear, and I made the mistake of visiting my mom, who for the last time judged me criticized me and upset me to the point I drove home crying, again!! That night after all the stress I asked Tom and Janet to babysit, so me and mike could get a much needed break, we went bowling, and had a ball (hehe)! I definately looking forward to Tues. morning, that's my morning to go to Choose Life to counsel, I ended up crying and being counseled by a fellow counselor myself, but it just made me realize how awesome it ist to be a part of a ministry who's heart it is to help women, even the ones who are suppose to be helping the others. Mike unfortunately had to work that night, because there weren't 5 Tuesdays in march, bummer! The next day was Wed. and we had hoped to get to see Steph (my oldest daughter) who lives with her dad now. She and her friend reluctantly came with us to McDonald's, and I realized after talking (which was mostly me talking) to her that she just doesn't really care about seeing us, so I decided to just let her be. Don't get me wrong it wasn't easy. It's an odd dilemma to be in a position in my life when I have a baby and a teen, at one point at McDonald's when I was trying to talk to Steph, I started crying, she didn't do anything, unless you count tearing up the paper on the tray with her fork, and all of a sudden little Michael just comes and gets in my lap, and I just kept kissing him on the head, it was like he knew, boys are so sweet!. So we took her home, yeah that's her home now, I've just got to learn to deal. All this happened and it was just Wed. morning! Lord, help me!! After that we all went to Sci-Quest and I was definately inspired to enjoy the little ones before they grow up! When I got home something snapped and I called my mom and told her I was done trying to have a relationship with her, I know it sounds bad but believe me it's good, can you say "toxic relationship?" I imagined myself to be like a hot air balloon, tethered to the ground, and this week I've been cutting all the ties that bind me. Thursday was a turn around, we went hiking on Green Mountain, Mike and I had watched a show about the Privileged Planet the night before and I was amazed more than ever by the beauty of nature, it makes all your problems seem so small and insignifigant. That night we basically recovered. Friday morning Mike took the girls bowling and even Grandpa came and bowled with them! Me and Michael went to the mall and got cool stuff to play with at the dollar tree! When we got home the girls went on bug hunts with their new bug houses and then we painted their birdhouses. Then Mike got to take Abby to her show choir class! It's so nice when daddy doesn't have to teach! This morning we went to Grandpa's to fix up the boat, she's looking mighty fine I might add, and she runs!! and the trailer has lights , all we need now are some seats. Tom and Mike are gonna take it for a test run Mon., buckets may be the temp. seating (you might be a redneck if...) and then this afternoon we went to our friend's housewarming, it was great, we saw alot of our old friends. Tomorrow, is Sunday and for the first time in a long time we don't have to go to church!! emphasis on have to! yay!! but we are still gonna do our on little worship service at home, Abby said, " is daddy gonna read to us from the Bible and sing songs with us?, sounds like heaven to me, and this ends the coldest, craziest, spring break ever!! and Monday I will begin a break from my break!

get out! it's my car!

here's a reality shot! Michael and Ariel playing outside
in their pajamas and fighting over the car! It ain't all
sunshine and roses, but I still love it!

 

Ariel's first day of school

Here's Ariel with Amy getting ready to go to HeadStart with her
for the first time, sigh, another little bird has left the nest, yay!
mixed emotions, She's doin' great and loves it, when I go to pick them up
in the afternoon they are sleeping side by side in their cots, it's so sweet!
Last week I registered Amy for kindergarten, my how time flies!!
especially when you are having fun!!

 

look at that face!

Michael made his own art out of his strawberry shortcake!
that little chair he's sitting in came from Grandma Virginia's house in D.C.
most of ya'll probably remember it being black, now all our kids have sat in it!

 

my little artists

Here's the girls painting birdhouses
(an inside activity on our cold spring break)
Ariel kept saying "the birds are gonna be so happy"
and Abby and Amy went crazy mixing colors together to make new ones,
eventually I didn't know what color to call them.

 

three little birdhouses

can you guess who's is who's?
from left to right the first one is 1, 2, then 3.

 

like father, like son

Here's little Michael dressed in his new kaki shorts and
hawaiin shirt, so daddy decided to dress like him. Aren't they cute?

 

Jesus Died and Rose Again! So that We coud Live!

 

What Is Church?

A Rant

I know this blog is mainly for family photos and what the kids are up to, but today I'm using it for therapy. I'v e had one of those tossing and turning kind of nights and the question that keeps going through my mind is "What is church?" I mean what would Jesus if He were here really want it to be? I didn't even know about salvation until I was 21 and it was my greatest discovery and I've spent the last 13 years of my life trying to learn all I could about God, Jesus and the Bible, and everything I learned would always bless me and thrill me. For the most part I've learned there is a God and he created me and he loves me very much and all of creation he created for me to enjoy! He sent his son to die for me so that we could talk and eventually spend eternity together, he gave me his holy spirit to allow me to discern things and to give me power to do HIs will! But the church itself has always been quite a dilemma for me. I only went to church a few times as a child and all I remember is sipping orange kool-aid and eating cookies, it was a Church of God church which I still don't know what that entails. The first church I went to as an adult was a Baptist, there I was "saved" the first Sunday I went and they were sweet, wonderful people who loved on me and Stephanie, she was 2 when I started going. I'll never forget one lady took me shopping and bought Stephanie a coat and then told me to pick out some dresses, this was a great example of church for me, though I hear so many people bashing baptists all I've ever known are really good people. They of course had there little hangups as far as a woman's place in the church and no dancing but they had a heart to spread the good news and that's a definite plus. Then I met Mike and he said he was Episcopalian and I'd never heard of it, when I asked him what it was he said it was Catholic light, well I did'nt know much about the Catholics to know what a lighter version would be. We tried to find a middle ground and a church close to home which led us to the Methodist church, not much excitement there, so then we decided to go where he had roots, so it was back to the Episcopal church, and I tried very hard to "get it" I was even confirmed but I just didn't fit in, I felt like a bird who's wings had been clipped and put into a cage. Everything was so rigid, ritualistic and sorry guys it was boring. I even recently found out that certain denominations including them are pro-choice, now I'm really confused, how can the bride of Christ do such things? I fight so hard to help women choose life and help those who've had abortions heal and to find out my very own Christian brothers and sisters can be so contradictory is simply discouraging and it makes me angry! So now we are at a non-denominationl church, which is great, i like not having a label, and before this church we went to another non-denom, where freedom reigned and the worship was so awesome! I grew so much while we were there and when God called us to go to a new church I was filled with excitement. But now, you know what? I'm just tired, burned- out whatever you want to call it, I can understand why some people don't want to get up on Sunday mornings and go to church. Even the non-denoms have there basic routines, minus all the condemnation or apostate beliefs, but you know what, I just want to take a break for a while, I've given lots of time, lots of money, the two most precious things to man-kind and now I'm quesitoning if this is really the way God wants it done. Different religions seperate us even cause us to war with one another. I've met Church of Christ people who love to tell you, you are going to hell for a long list of reasons, the number one reason being that you don't go to there church. Come on people Jesus didn't hang on that cross for this mess of a thing we call church. I just want to minister to people and I get to do that more when I'm counseling at choose life than I do when I'm trying to be what I'm supposed to be at church and deal with everybody's attitude, yeah Christians have attitude. So how can I judge anyone for not wanting to go to church, the truth is, I understand, and I'm just trying to figure out what Jesus would want me to do, because that's all I want to do.

amy and ariel had to have a haircut too!

 

michael's first haircut (after shot)

isn't he handsome? 

michael's first haircut (before)

okay, his bangs were in his eyes, so i finally broke down and cut his hair, doesn't he look studly?